Development

06

Aug'18

Development | be wild and wacky

“Genius means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way.” ~ William James Enneagram Ones Do something spontaneous and do it where others can see you. And you can’t plan being spontaneous. Go somewhere and just be spontaneous. How’s that? Enneagram Twos Cook a really good meal just for yourself. And if you don’t cook, though many twos like to cook, order yourself a simply delicious take-out meal, just for you. Order what you want, without regard to anyone else. Enneagram Threes Let yourself look sloppy for 1 full day and go somewhere where others can see you. Do you dare to do this? This doesn’t mean looking casual; it means sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Find the pleasure in this. Enneagram Fours Breathe into your toes. Breath into your whole body instead of breathing primarily into your chest area as Fours normally do. When you get to your toes, wiggle them and laugh! Enneagram Fives Let someone give you a hug. Even better, ask someone for a hug. Be in your heart when you ask; be in your body when you receive. Enneagram Sixes Sing yourself a happy song inside your head. Any song will do; keep singing it repeatedly over the day. Let yourself have fun being silly. Enneagram Sevens Can you talk without using your hands? This is a big challenge for the normally animated Sevens. Can you do it? Hmmmm. What happens? Enneagram Eights Be a child for a day. Do fun things. Many Eights feel they’ve always had to be a grown-up. Take a day to be a child in the best sense of the word. Take along a “playmate” if you like. Or do it by yourself. Enneagram Nines Scream in a safe place. Find a safe place and practice some screaming, for example, when driving in a car near a fire truck or police car that has a siren on. Roll up the windows and enjoy the scream. Laugh about it. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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02

Jul'18

Development | being in reality

“I think, to me, reality is better than being fake.” ~ Ice Cube We are all “fake” or false in some respects and don’t even know this, particularly when our enneatype structure distorts our reality. Here are some of the ways: Enneagram Ones | false perfection As Ones pursue perfection – at least as they understand it in daily life – they perceive that so much is not as it should be and so they must make it right. But this notion is the opposite of what true perfection is and what reality is. In other words, in reality and true perfection, what is is. It is the acceptance of this reality that is actually perfection in its finest form. Learn to accept what is. Enneagram Twos | false abundance Twos live in a false reality where resources are never-ending, people are all good ¬until they are not, and the disappointment of not living in this embellished reality of false abundance is huge. People disappoint, resources dry up, and people suffer. Learn to live in a more balanced reality: good and bad simultaneously; joy and suffering as part of a complete whole; and reverence for each resource provided and used. Enneagram Threes | false image Threes live in a world of false images – for example, their own image, other people’s images, what they should want rather than what they do want, and how they think they should act rather than how they would behave if they were more spontaneous. At the same time, many Threes crave truth and honesty, and one way of understanding this is that they thirst for what they don’t have. Learn to be more honest with yourself first and then others. Find your heart’s desire. Enneagram Fours | false connection Fours so deeply desire the deepest level of connection with themselves and others that they can mistake intensity for connection. In addition, Fours define connection as primarily emotional, rather than physical or mental, which are two additional and equally viable ways of establishing connection. With an unnecessarily narrow path to connection, no wonder Fours both crave and feel deprived of it. Find multiple ways of connecting and also learn to trust that what goes away – nothing is permanent – comes around in another form. Enneagram Fives | false scarcity Fives live in a reality of false scarcity, the idea that there is not and will not be enough to go around. With this belief in mind, Fives keep themselves in an autonomous state, rarely relying on outside resources and conserving their own energy. The belief, then, becomes a self-fulfilling reality. No wonder Fives become depleted and drained. Fives can try to change this mind-set, but that is difficult. Try a change of behavior instead, by relying on others more and asking on occasion for what is needed. Small steps lead to bigger ones. Enneagram Sixes | false complexity Sixes may not want to hear this, but the world is not nearly so complex as they might think. What if the world is simpler, yet equally – and differently – meaningful and profound. The idea is not to believe all your thoughts, just believe some of them. Which ones? Believe the ideas that are simpler but not simplistic, profound yet powerful, and self-supporting rather than self-limiting. Enneagram Sevens | false freedom Sevens want no constraints so they can feel free. They want every option available so they can feel free. They want no one to reign them in or to say no to them so they can feel free. They want to do whatever they want whenever they want so they can feel free. What if this isn’t freedom at all, but false freedom? What if freedom is the ability to choose a course and stay committed to it, out of choice and freedom? Enneagram Eights | false strength Eights know a lot about strength; it is what they rely on most. However, Eights define strength as toughness and certitude at all times, and almost never letting your guard down or showing any vulnerability, even to those with whom they are close. Real strength, however, comes from being vulnerable, working with those areas that might need development – such as hurt and grief – and allowing others to be in support. True strength is achieved through strength and vulnerability and strength through vulnerability. Try it! Enneagram Nines | false humility Nines appear humble. However, some Nines are truly humble and others are not. Their humility may actually be self-deprecation, but it can also be masked ambition or ambition thwarted. It can be personal and social power unacknowledged or unused. Nines, to avoid false humility, can step into themselves, stand tall, and speak with their deepest voice. All will hear. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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18

Jun'18

Insights about Insight by Mary Maddock

In the following blog from Mary Maddock, her insights about insight are applicable to learning the Enneagram, discovering type, training, coaching, consulting, problem solving, and more!  ~ Think about a time when from nowhere, you had a moment of brilliance – an aha or lightbulb moment. Where were you? What were you doing? What did it feel like? When I ask people about their aha experience, most commonly, they say it happens when they least expect it – taking a shower, walking the dog, listening to music, or just as they are waking up from sleep – that is, when they are not thinking about the problem. An aha moment or insight, has two distinct characteristics – with a burst of brain energy the solution comes to you suddenly as a new breakthrough thought, and, instinctively you know the solution to the problem is right. Whilst insights might feel they are random, they are not. The brain is following some predictable processes. Although it is unlikely that we can predict when you will have an insight, you have the ability to foster more of them, if the conditions for the brain are right. Neuroscientists studying Aha moments have revealed there are four conditions that significantly increase the likelihood of stimulating insights. Quiet mind By having a quiet mind, your brain activity level is low, this allows “weak” signals in the brain to be heard, enabling the brain to make new connections by drawing together distantly related information. “Insights require a quiet mind because they themselves are quiet.” (Rock 2011) Inward focused Our attention at any one moment is externally focused. When you focus your attention inward and without the usual day to day distractions, can support the brain by putting into idle mode. This allows the brain to wander and access deeper thinking. Good mood Putting pressure on solving a problem can induce anxiety in the brain, which limits or narrows your perspective. Feeling slightly positive, alters your brain activity to take in a wider range of information which in turn can bring forward new thinking. Switch off Stop thinking about the problem is counter intuitive to how we have traditionally learnt to find a solution. Known as the incubation period, the brain continues to “work on things’ non-consciously and when you focus on unrelated or undemanding tasks, by letting the brain go, it does the work for you. In effect, the brain is simmering to solve. Given insight is a brain friendly way to solve complex problems, how can you create the conditions to have more of them? Mary Maddock is a coach, trainer, consultant and facilitator from Melbourne, Australia e-mail: mary@leadershiftpathways.com.au | website: leadershiftpathways.com.au Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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04

Jun'18

Development | kindness

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~ Aesop Kindness has many definitions: empathy, concern, gentleness, and more. Here are ways each enneatype benefits from more kindness. Enneagram Ones For Ones, kindness needs to start with patience, gentleness and acceptance for the self: no harsh recriminations or even mild ones for mistakes made, patience with the pace of self-improvement, and relaxing the pressure to measure up to your own high standards so fervently. Enneagram Twos Twos think of themselves as kind people, so why would kindness be something they would aspire to have more of? Part of their thinking is accurate; Twos can be very kind to people with whom they are close, people who are in need or in dire straits, or people who are important in some way. However, Twos have a dilemma being kind to someone who has wronged them or hurt them or whose character they just don’t like. This is the development stretch for Twos. Enneagram Threes Threes can be kind, although they don’t think about it very much because of their focus on activity, plans and results. The Three’s focus, however, can be what derails their kindness toward both themselves and others. The remedy? Slow down and take in more of what is around you and within you, breathing into your heart area as you do so. This is where kindness originates. Enneagram Fours Fours can be both very kind and unkind to others (if the Four him- or herself is hurting), yet usually less than kind to themselves. Fours tend to blame themselves harshly, perceive themselves as damaged in some way when they feel bad, and more. Kindness needs to start with accepting their own responses, working with these reactions without self-judging or blaming others, and taking a bigger view of the situation, showering themselves with kindness as they do this. Enneagram Fives Fives, like Threes, don’t think that much about kindness although Fives can be quite kind, at least in their thoughts and emotional states. But do they show this kindness outwardly through words and deeds? This is the place of movement. Enneagram Sixes For Sixes, kindness toward self is essential. Why? Because Sixes tend to self-flagellate whenever they think they have done something wrong, even when they haven’t. This specific kind of self-blame relates the Six’s need to be “so good” that if they think they have not been, they then tumble down into feeling “so bad.” Deep loving kindness toward self and under all circumstances is an aspiration worth pursuing. Enneagram Sevens Sevens get so caught up in the glory of ideas – too often bypassing their heart – that kindness can become a mental idea rather than a gentle, heartfelt response. The simple solution to kindness: breath more into your heart and ask yourself how you are feeling on a regular basis. This sets the stage for greater kindness that grows from deep inside the heart. Enneagram Eights Eights can be extremely kind and generous; they can be extreme in many qualities. However, gentle, smaller kindness is something they do less often, although it is something they can learn to cultivate. Here’s how: When you start to initiate a large act of kindness or generosity, stop. Then ask yourself what you are feeling and engage in inquiry about whether this big act moves you away from experiencing your own vulnerability or your own need for kindness. Consider initiating smaller acts of kindness, even semi-invisible acts rather than only big ones. Enneagram Nines Nines are generally quite kind, but are they kind to themselves? What would that look like? One word describes it: self-respect. Honor thyself, be kind to yourself in thought and action; find your voice and use it firmly, clearly, and with kindness. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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01

May'18

Development | courage

Courage is being scared to death…and saddling up anyway. ~ John Wayne Real courage is not avoiding what scares us most, then thinking we are full of courage. Neither is courage doing something terribly risky for the primary purpose of showing yourself and others that you are full of courage. Going deeper, each enneagram type could take the opportunities to show up, face that which is challenging to us, and evoke the truest meaning of courage. How can each type “saddle up”? Enneagram Ones What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about giving up structure and control? Ones rely on structure and control – both self-control and control of their immediate environment – to feel less anxious, more relaxed, and less stressed. Try giving up structure and control, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Twos What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about the need to be in contact with others constantly? There are so many ways to be in contact with others: by email, FB, phone, in person, and even just in your mind. Some Twos will say they can do this easily, but what they are often thinking of is that they are not actually with another person. Try giving up being with others in any form, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Threes What is something that scares you do death to give up? How about the need to always have and be focused on goals and plans? In fact, most Threes say they are addicted to goals and plans, feeling lost or disoriented without them. Try giving up a goal and a related plan you have, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Fours What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about the need to continuously feel as if something is missing in your life or something is wrong with you? Most Fours want to be deeply self-accepting and satisfied, and yet…. Try giving up the idea that you are intrinsically deficient and accept the idea that you are perfectly OK, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Fives What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about the need to rely only on your own resources? You may be well-resourced, but sometimes single sources of resource can dry up or need to be replenished. Try giving up the idea that you can’t rely on anyone else to provide you with resources and starting thinking about who you can rely on, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Sixes What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about the idea that you can’t trust yourself, but somehow you can trust others’ ideas and opinions more than your own? Think a lot about why that is! Try giving up the notion that the advice of others is better than your own – yours might even be netter – for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Sevens What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about the idea that you must have ultimate freedom of movement and thought at all times or somehow something terrible will occur? Try giving up that total freedom is an absolute must-have and see what occurs when you either create or respond to another’s limits, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Eights What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about the need to never show or admit that you ever feel scared about anything, so bold and brave are you? Try giving up the sense that you must live your life as a super-hero, the person who is bigger than the rest and so can save the city or nation, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Enneagram Nines What is something that scares you to death to give up? How about the need to keep yourself small or less visible, to not asset yourself, and to act like nothing really bothers you? Go inside yourself and find the place where you know that none of this really serves you anymore. Try giving up the idea that invisibility is better than visibility, that being assertive is being pushy, for a minute, an hour, even a day. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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02

Apr'18

Development | truthfulness

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. ~ Buddha Some say the truth will set you free. Others believe that truth is relative, depending on one’s point of view and perspective. Or, is the truth like layers of an onion where different dimensions of the truth must be peeled away to get at the essential truth? The enneagram provides insights into how people of each enneatype can get closer to the truth; one of these ways involves working with each type’s primary defense mechanism, a defensive posture that hides our truth from ourselves. ONES When Ones feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to reaction formation, a defensive posture where they act 180° differently from what they, in truth, feel and think. For example, they may feel very hurt or angry at a person or situation, but then act as if they feel positively toward the individual or event and most often don’t recognize this contradictory response. Hint: Pay attention to your true feelings; don’t submerge them in an effort to be a “good” person. TWOS When Twos feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to repression, a defensive posture where they push their true feelings down to such a degree that their either don’t know what they are feeling or think they are having a mild emotional reaction rather than a grave one. The result is that these feelings then build up and eventually explode, much to the chagrin of the Two and to the surprise of those on the receiving end. Hint: Breathe into your whole body, fully and regularly, not primarily into your heart area only, and ask yourself this as you breathe: What am I truly feeling right now? THREES When Threes feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to identification, a defensive posture where they focus their attention and action on what they primarily identify with, which is, in reality, a substitute for their deeper sense of self. Threes may identify with work, roles, activities, role models and more. Hint: Ask yourself the following questions on a regular basis and particularly when you start to engage in any of the ways in which your tendency to identify with something outside yourself is operating: What do I truly want, not what I should want? What do I really feel, not what I should feel? Where in my body do I experience the answers to these questions? FOURS When Fours feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to introjection, a defensive posture where they take in only negative responses from others – and these may be only the Four’s interpretations of what occurred – without discerning whether these negative interpretations are accurate or not. Fours also discard positive feedback and interactions. Technically, introjection involves taking in whole both positive and negative feedback without discernment, but Fours use this defense mechanism in the specific way just described. Hint: Spend time with yourself when you have emotional responses, and say this: I am having feelings but I am not my feelings. What are they? Behind these feelings are feelings that are deeper and more accurate. What are they? FIVES When Fives feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to compartmentalization, a defensive posture where they separate things that would serve them differently – and perhaps better in terms of arriving at their truth emotionally, mentally and instinctually – if they were more connected. There can be a truth from each Center of Intelligence, but the answers can be different and need reconciliation. The truth rarely comes from one center alone. Hint: Move back into your body as often as you can; there are many ways to do this, but it takes practice: breathe into your full body regularly without forcing or pushing your breath; engage in physical activities where you choose to be in your whole body while doing them; feel your legs and your feet, especially where your feet touch the ground and, at the same time, focus your attention in your heart area, allowing your breath to go to this area. SIXES When Sixes feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to projection, a defensive posture where they imagine something to be true that either has happened, is happening, or might happen. These projections are mental ideas that might be true, might not be true at all, or might be partially true. Hint: To be more truthful, ask yourself some simple questions, especially when you have a strong response: Is this true? How would I know if it is true or not? Does this thinking or interpretation serve me in terms of getting at the truth? Would might serve me better? SEVENS When Sevens feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to rationalization, a defensive posture where anything Sevens perceive as negative gets reframed in a positive light. This makes getting at the truth near impossible because at least half of reality gets reframed – that is, the negative or that which causes pain. Hint: Notice when you reframe, or you can enlist others to help you notice when you do this. Stop the reframe while you explore what you are truly thinking, feeling or doing underneath the positive reframe. EIGHTS When Eights feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to denial, a defensive posture where they essentially delete events, people or information that they don’t want to deal with. Essentially, Eights surgically cut out what is part of the whole truth. Hint: When you feel hurt, anxious, vulnerable, highly fearful, or deeply angry, notice how you may move quickly into denial. Stop yourself and say this: What am I feeling? What am I unwilling to look at? What is the whole truth here? NINES When Nines feel anxious about their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they unconsciously revert to narcotization, a defensive posture that has them disperse their attention and do something comforting or routine to completely take them away from experiencing and knowing the truth of what is actually occurring. Hint: Notice your favorite ways of distracting and comforting yourself, then stop when you start doing any of these things. Instead, say this to yourself: I deserve to respect myself enough to pay attention to what is occurring inside me: thoughts, feelings, and desired actions. What are they? Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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06

Mar'18

Development | giving feedback

We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve. ~ Bill Gates Here are some tips for keeping your own Enneagram type tendencies from interfering with your feedback delivery, especially when giving negative or constructive feedback. ONES Utilize your skill at being very specific, but avoid being too detailed or picking on too many small items | Keep your capacity to generate ways someone else can improve, but work very hard to control your use of explicitly or implicitly judgmental language | Maintain your truthfulness, but resolve any residual anger or resentment prior to having the feedback conversation so your feelings do not show through your body language TWOS Maintain your positive regard for the other person, but not at the expense of avoiding the negative information | Consider the other person’s feelings, but do not “fog over” the issues to keep the feedback recipient from feeling bad | Pay attention to the recipient’s reaction, but take neither a positive nor a negative response personally | Maintain your perceptiveness, but remind yourself that your insights may not be accurate, especially when you are angry THREES Maintain your focus, but also allow room for feelings, particularly those of the other person | Be clear and honest, and remember to be gentle | Keep focused on the desired result rather than using too many small examples that may derail your main point | Be patient FOURS Be empathic, but be careful not to get your own feelings so involved that you presume to know what the other person feels | Maintain your truthfulness, but add a positive tone and include positive comments | Pay attention to the other person, but try to match his/her mood or energy rather than trying to get the person to match yours FIVES Keep your precision, but do not be so concise that the other person does not understand what you are saying | Continue to rigorously think through your approach, but be careful not to overload the feedback recipient with information | Keep being clear about your task, but also invite an emotional response from the other person SIXES Planning is crucial, but work to calm yourself before the feedback meeting | Details are important, but keep sight of the big picture; thinking about possible scenarios is helpful, but try to balance the negative possibilities with positive ones | Honor your insights, but avoid assuming that your thoughts are accurate; treat them as hypotheses, and seek the answers from the feedback recipient SEVENS Maintain your optimism, but be careful not to let that obscure what the feedback recipient needs to hear | Use your ability to provide context and perspective carefully so that the central issue does not get lost | Do bring in related information, but keep your focus so that the feedback recipient does not get sidetracked EIGHTS Maintain your ability to keep focused on the key points, but do so in a receptive way | Have some ideas about what to do, but allow the feedback recipient to make the first suggestions | Consider in advance what you want to say | Keep your skill in steering your full attention to the task, but downplay your energy level so the other person does not feel overwhelmed | Smiling, making easy jokes, and waiting patiently for a response are helpful | Retain your truthfulness, but include a positive component NINES Keep creating rapport and maintain your kindness, but also deliver a clear message | Retain your capacity to understand a situation from many viewpoints, but stay focused on your main point | Think of other issues that may be related, and save them for further discussion; try to keep your feedback focused on one issue at a time Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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05

Feb'18

Development | connectivity

You have to make space in your heart, in your mind, and in your life for authentic human connection. ~ Marianne Williamson Without human connectivity, we feel isolated, estranged and long for something more. Do we realize that there is a key factor in each Enneagram type-structure that distances people of that type from the connectivity they most desire? Enneagram One | Key factor: Control Ones like and need to feel in control of themselves – as in self-controlled – and in the situations of their lives. In close connections, however, more spontaneity is required and other people don’t like the feeling of being controlled by someone else. This gives Ones something to work on. Enneagram Two | Key factor: False independence Twos like to perceive themselves as independent people, but this is, in fact, a false perception of reality. Twos are among the most dependent of the Enneagram types; Twos, unless they engage in deep development work, depend on positive reactions of others for their self-esteem. This gives Twos something to work on. Enneagram Three | Key factor: Utilitarianism Threes are always moving forward, with eyes on the goal and a desire to stay on their path. Because of this, their relationships with others can become more utilitarian than authentic – in other words, a means to an end. Other people sense this and desire more realness and authenticity in the human connection. This gives Threes something to work on. Enneagram Four | Key factor: Expectation Fours, almost more than any other Enneagram type, seeks human connectivity. However, high and often unrealistic expectations, get in their way. Fours want and even demand deep and constant connectivity; otherwise, they get terribly bored or deeply disappointed. There is, in fact, a vast variety in the forms of connectivity. Find them! This gives Fours something to work on. Enneagram Five | Key factor: Moats with few bridges Fives, in many ways, long for human connectivity, but doing so would require them to build more bridges across the moats they have created to keep themselves separate from others. This gives Fives something to work on. Enneagram Six | Key factor: Suspicion Sixes like people and they don’t like people, both at the same time. The Six’s suspiciousness and doubt of others is the prime culprit in their connectedness with others. Human connectivity requires trust and constancy. This gives Sixes something to work on. Enneagram Seven | Key factor: Shiny objects Sevens like to engage with others, and while this may feel like connectivity in the moment, it can quickly evaporate. In particular, this occurs when Sevens reach for the next “shiny object” that captures their attention instead of staying still and connected. This gives Sevens something to work on. Enneagram Eight | Key factor: Fear Eights are an anger-type enneatype, so why the word fear? The answer is that when it comes to sustained human connectivity – think of this as a form of intimacy – Eights get scared. For example, they feel afraid of being vulnerable, afraid the other person will go away, concerned that others will find out something about the Eight and then become rejecting. This gives Eights something to work on. Enneagram Nine | Key factor: False connectivity Nines are typically good at creating rapport with others, but this is not the same as a deeper level of human connectivity. To keep rapport going, Nines disconnect from the deeper parts of themselves. To build true connectivity, they have to reach inside and experience themselves more fully. This gives Nines something to work on. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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06

Dec'17

Development | decision making

Life is the sum of all your choices. ~ Albert Camus The Enneagram – and in particular, the Three Centers of Intelligence – can help us become wiser and more conscious decision makers in all aspects of our personal and professional lives. How we can do this is based on the idea that if we have open access to each Center and can use each Center of Intelligence – the Head, Heart and Body – in productive and integrated ways, our decision making becomes more powerful and effective. Here are the ways: HEAD CENTER | objective analysis Ones | Be careful not to let your positive or negative opinions about another person overshadow the objective data; don’t overthink your decisions. Twos | Do not let your personal feelings for other people bias your decisions; strive to be objective. Threes | Consider data, including feelings, that you may not have considered but that can help you make the best decision. Fours | Don’t let your personal experiences and feelings bias your view of the facts; become more objective in your decision making. Fives | Remember that logical analysis is not necessarily objective; logic can have its own bias, depending on the logic used. Sixes | Slow down your analysis of the data related to a decision, particularly when you are anxious or notice that you are repeating the same thoughts. Sevens | Make sure you really have all the data, not just the highlights. Eights | Question your assumptions; ask the opinions of others; take in multiple viewpoints when making decisions. Nines | Remember that you can collect too much data and then overanalyze a situation; this creates confusion about which information is the most relevant. HEART CENTER | increased empathy Ones | Consider both your own and other people’s feelings in depth. Twos | Examine your motivation for needing to know exactly what others are thinking and feeling. Threes | Spend time considering your own feelings and those of others; factor them into your decisions. Fours | Examine your perceptions about what other people are feeling regarding issues and decisions; make sure you are not projecting your own emotional reactions onto others. Fives | Learn to feel your own feelings in real time, not after the fact. This will enable you to read other people’s feelings more accurately and to use this information in decision making. Sixes | Remain empathic even when someone’s behavior bothers, hurts, or angers you. Sevens | Examine your feelings and read your internal cues; this will help you to read others’ body language. Eights | Take the time to sense the feelings of other people, even when you don’t respect the individuals. Nines | Make sure to maintain your empathy, even with people you perceive as negative and complaining. BODY CENTER | taking effective action Ones | Turn decision making into an art form; use just enough action to get the results you want. Twos | Learn the art of timing so that you will know when to act, when to wait, and when to do nothing. Threes | Work on making most of your decisions less quickly so that new insights have time to percolate. Fours | Don’t let feelings immobilize you and prevent you from making a decision; action is one way to move through emotional reactions. Fives | Make decisions in a timely manner, using information from your mind, heart, and gut. Sixes | Make decisions that are good risks, not just exciting ones; take action using your gut as a way to bypass overanalysis. Sevens | Slowing your pace will help you make wise decisions, not just decisions that intrigue or stimulate you. Eights | Don’t rush into decisions; don‘t make overly complex decisions when a simple solution would work just as well. Nines | Figure out why you procrastinate; err on the side of taking action too quickly rather than too slowly. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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02

Nov'17

Development | pushing pause

The faster we go, the slower we need to be ~ Peter Senge PhD Pushing the pause button, even if for a second, allows us the space to interrupt our reactive and habitual responses and to make new and more informed, more effective, and more conscious choices. Without the pause, there may or may not be awareness, but awareness and choice are not the same. Here are some simple ways individuals of each Enneagram type can push pause. Enneagram Ones Enneagram Ones are known for their ability to form fast opinions and create quite rapid detailed plans using their gut instincts first and then their minds. To push pause, breathe into your Heart Center to ask yourself this: What am I feeling right now? Enneagram Twos Enneagram Twos move very quickly – that is, without pushing pause – when they care about someone or a group in distress, even if they may not even know the individuals or groups involved directly. Their heart gets activated, then their behavior takes over. To push pause, go into your Head Center and ask yourself this: Is what I am about to do what I really want to do and why? Is it good for me? Is it truly good for them? Enneagram Threes Enneagram Threes are well known to move to action quickly. A goal they want to achieve emits a quick and efficient plan. An interpersonal response they like emits more of the same from them. A response they don’t like emits a quick alteration of behavior. It happens quickly and simply. They think they want or don’t want something – which is an emotion-based response – and their mind immediately wraps into a structure for how to achieve their desired outcome. To push pause, go into your Body Center and make your intention to fill it entirely, feeling your body from your toes to your nose. Enneagram Fours Enneagram Fours respond emotionally very quickly with almost no pause. They may withdraw, they may freeze or they may say something or act quickly – sometimes with later regret and sometimes not – and all comes from the Heart Center. To push pause, pause your heart, then move into your body as fully as you can, and then ask your Mental Center: What other choices do I have in this situation? Enneagram Fives Enneagram Fives may appear as if they are on a long pause, but don’t mistake their silence or thoughtfulness for a pause. There is often an active reaction under this stillness, even if it is not externally expressed. To push pause, breathe into your whole body, starting with you Head Center, then allowing that breath to move throughout and fill you entirely in a soft way. Enneagram Sixes Enneagram Sixes are known to be a quick reactive Enneagram type, moving into mental processing, what-if thinking, and scenario planning. Counter-phobic Sixes also move into action very quickly, as a way to prove their strength and courage. To push pause, some Sixes – particularly the self-preserving subtype and social subtype Sixes– need to go out in nature, take a walk and be in their bodies. 1-1 Sixes need to go into their hearts and ask this question: What do I feel right now? Enneagram Sevens Enneagram Sevens respond so quickly externally, unless they are highly introverted, but even introverted Sevens are thinking in lightening-fast time. To push pause, the key is through the breath. Sevens are often breathless because they breathe so quickly and shallowly. So slow down your breathing and breathe more deeply. Enneagram Eights Enneagram Eights are among the fastest to take action quickly – for example, when they are excited or anxious, or angry or sad or feeling vulnerable or…. To push pause takes will and determination since the Eight’s call to action is so rapid. Change the way you perceive pause; see it as allowing more choice; define it as being receptive to even more possibility; see it as a challenge for yourself, a challenge you are strong enough and intentional enough to meet. Then, choose pause. Enneagram Nines Enneagram Nines may appear to be on pause mode due to their easy-going, nothing-bothers-me manner. Inside is a different matter. Internally, Nines may be churning about something or they may be defusing their attention and fogging out rather than being alert. True pause mode is highly alert and, at the same time, highly receptive. To push pause, re-inhabit all of your body from the ground up through every limb and, your torso and head. When you do this, you will be in pure pause. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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