Fascinating or fun

15

Feb'18

More songs for each enneagram type

The first blog on songs for each enneagram type from October 2017 was so popular, here is a part 2, with a set of new songs and lyrics. When played along with the melody, they become even more amusing. One | ‘Tis the Gift to be Simple (Shaker song by Joseph Brackett) 'Tis the gift to be simple 'Tis the gift to be free 'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be And when we find ourselves in the place just right It will be in the valley of love and delight   Two | People Who Need People (Barbra Streisand) People People who need people Are the luckiest people in the world, We're children, needing other children And yet letting our grown-up pride Hide all the need inside, Acting more like children Than children. Three | You’re So Vain (Carly Simon) You walked into the party Like you were walking on a yacht Your hat strategically dipped below one eye Your scarf, it was apricot You had one eye on the mirror And watched yourself gavotte And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner They'd be your partner, and You're so vain You probably think this song is about you You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you Don't you? Don't you? Four | Anything for You (Gloria Estefan) Anything for you Though you're not here Since you said we're through It seems like years Time keeps dragging on and on And forever's been and gone Still I can't figure what went wrong Five | If  You could Read My Mind (Gordon Lightfoot) If you could read my mind love What a tale my thoughts could tell Just like an old time movie About a ghost from a wishing well In a castle dark or a fortress strong With chains upon my feet You know that ghost is me And I will never be set free As long as I'm a ghost you can see Six | Devoted to You (Everly Brothers) Darlin', you can count on me Till the sun dries up the sea Until then I'll always be devoted to you I'll be yours through endless time I'll adore your charms sublime Guess by now you know that I'm devoted to you I'll never hurt you, I'll never lie I'll never be untrue I'll never give you reason to cry I'd be unhappy if you were blue Seven | Happy Talk (Rodgers and Hammerstein from South Pacific) Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk Talk about things you'd like to do. You gotta have a dream, if you don't have a dream, How you gonna have a dream come true? Eight | If I Were King of the Forest (Arlen and Harburg from The Wizard of Oz) If I Were King Of The Forest not queen, not duke, not prince. My regal robes of the forest would be satin, not cotton, not chintz. I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl, with a woof and a woof, and a royal growl. As I'd click my heel all the trees would kneel and the mountains bow and the bulls kowtow And the sparrows would take wing, if I were king. Nine | Watching the River Run (Loggins and Messina) If you've been thinkin' you were all that you've got Then don't feel alone anymore 'Cause when we're together then you've got a lot 'Cause I am the river and you are the shore And it goes on and on, watching the river run Further and further from things that we've done Leaving them one by one And we have just begun, watching the river run Listening and learning and yearning to run, river, run Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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16

Jan'18

Ask Siri | a 6 spiritual experience

My name is Teresa and I am a self-preservation 6. And as is expected, having doubts about anything is something that follows me. My everyday challenge is always to search for more confidence in myself, in others and also in the universe. And I am projecting that the same happens to my colleagues who are type 6! Some months ago, I had an unforgettable experience, some unexpected help for me and all type 6’s – that is, to believe that things happen without our control and that having doubts can be just a waste of your time. It was a moment that I will remember from now on and all my life. I went from Brazil to Ireland to attend the new Ginger’s program “Being in Essence,” (which is one I really recommend). In the middle of the program, we were doing an activity in type groups. We were having a conversation about how a piece of Rumi’s poem we had in our booklets was related to our type. On the table, we had our booklets, some colored pencils and my cell phone (iPhone). During the activity, I realized that I had a doubt and said this to my sister type 6 colleague, Mary: “I have a doubt… I really don’t know if it is a translation doubt Portuguese is my native language or if it is something about the meaning of the poem.” I noticed Mary was about to answer me, but before she started talking, SIRI, from my iPhone, answered this instead: “It’s not a problem!” What!!!! How can that happen? I didn’t touch my cell phone!! Mary and I laughed and laughed. It looked like the Universe sending us a message. This answer from SIRI was and is what type 6s need to remember every day! Most of our doubts are in our heads and are not exactly a problem! There are a lot of alternatives to managing each situation we have to face, and we don't need to make things worse. So pay attention! If you, type 6, have any doubt about anything, ask yourself if the doubt is really important. If not, remember SIRI’s advice. Many times, “It’s not a problem!” Teresa Salles is a business consultant and Associate Member of the EIBN (Enneagram in Business Network) from Brazil. You can reach her at Teresa.salles@tecsconsultoria.com.br - Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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21

Dec'17

Holiday Wishes

Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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25

Oct'17

Songs for each enneagram type

There are several songs that are emblematic of each enneagram type. They are amusing to hear, and I often use type-based music in enneagram trainings to give people a different sense of each type. Here are the ones I use most often, including some key lyrics. When played with the melody, they are even more illuminating than the words alone. One | Maybe You’re Right (Cat Stevens) Now maybe you're right and maybe you're wrong But I ain't gonna argue with you no more I've done it for too long. Two | Getting to Know You (Julie Andrews) Getting to know you Getting to know all about you Getting to like you Getting to hope you like me Three | Nobody Does It Better (Carly Simon) Nobody does it better Makes me feel sad for the rest Nobody does it half as good as you Baby, you're the best Four | Yesterday (The Beatles) Oh yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away Now I need a place to hide away Oh I believe in yesterday Five | You Don’t Know Me (Ray Charles) You give your hand to me And then you say hello And I can hardly speak My heart is beating so And anyone can tell You think you know me well But you don't know me (no you don't know me) Six | Maybe I’m Doing It Wrong (Randy Newman) Maybe I'm doing it wrong Maybe I'm doing it wrong It just don't move me The way that it should Maybe I'm doing it wrong Seven | Don’t Worry, Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin) Here's a little song I wrote You might want to sing it note for note Don't worry, be happy In every life we have some trouble But when you worry you make it double Don't worry, be happy Don't worry, be happy now Eight | Steamroller (James Taylor) Well, I'm a steamroller, baby I'm bound to roll all over you Yes, I'm a steamroller, baby I'm bound to roll all over you Nine | Sitting by the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding) Sittin' in the mornin' sun I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come Watching the ships roll in And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay Watching the tide roll away Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay Wastin' time Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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11

Oct'17

Everything I know about facilitation I could have learned from my cat

My wonderful and lovely cat, Gunter, is a terrific teacher, and upon reflection about how she has taught me to be with her, I realized that she knows just about everything. A wise soul, she is an Enneagram 7, a social subtype with a secondary self-preservation instinct. Her breed is main coon, and they are known for being super smart, more dog-like than cat-like, with high sociability. She is all of this and more. And this is what she has taught me about facilitation: You can never have enough variety With Gunter, she loves her food (only the best quality), but she also needs variety. Just like a self-preservation subtype 7 (her secondary subtype), she loves to make deals regarding food and greenies; greenies are her special kitty treats. After her monthly groomings, Gunter gets rewarded with her favorite wet food. By scratching on her scratching post and not the furniture, she gets her greenie. Gunter loves the known, but she loves the unknown even more. Offer her a sliver of salmon and she’s in heaven, but only for a moment. Groups are like this, too. Food really matters; healthy, interesting, and enough variety to break up the days and create a comforting environment for supportive interactions. And never the same food every day, just to keep people surprised and curious. In addition, a variety of activities – not just lecture, not just repeated type group discussions – makes Enneagram programs come alive and keeps participants alert and engaged. The same is true for coaching. Use activities that stimulate the right brain as well as the left brain. Allow time for silent reflection. Use movement and somatics if you can. Never underestimate your audience Gunter is extremely clever, able to train us most of the time to get what she wants and needs. If we treat her like a regular cat, she gets offended and, as a result, more demanding of attention. Her mind moves quickly, often quicker than those of us who take care of her, so she keeps us on our toes. Sounds like a classic type 7. With groups, and this is sometimes hard to gauge in advance, they do not like being taught that which they already know. People find this boring at a minimum, but it can also feel condescending or patronizing. No one likes that. Consequently, it is important for trainers and coaches to know in advance, if possible, what clients already know and then what you provide using that information as the starting place. And if you don’t know in advance, pay attention as you work with your clients and be able to adjust up as needed. Be clever when needed Some things are hard for Gunter, and these things can often take us by surprise. And we can’t really know this in advance. While she is very agile, she does not, in any way, like being told what to do, even if implicitly. Like the good 7 that she is, she is very quick and clever, but some things are harder for her and she gets resistant when she feels forced in any way to do something. For example, we bought her a beautiful ceramic water dish that spills out continuous filtered water. Gunter loves to drink from the regular faucet, so we knew she would love this new addition. However, we had also learned from experience that if she knew we expected her to love it and use it, she would not do so. As a result, we set it up in the kitchen and then totally ignored her new gift; not watching her, no comments about her, nothing. The result: Gunther used her new water dish after five minutes and now adores it. I have learned with groups to understate the impact of activities. I do not say to them, for example, “This is a wonderful activity that goes very deep,” or “I think you will really enjoy this activity.” Participants have shared that when I say what they will experience, they silently resent me telling them what they will enjoy, find exciting, etc. They say that when I state that I expect something as an outcome, they are skeptical of this and often resist the experience, at least to some degree. Participants want to have their own experience! So when I understate an outcome of an activity or state an outcome in neutral terms, the participant enthusiasm accelerates and is greeted with far more openness. Allow maximum freedom but set and maintain limits Gunter likes her freedom, as in “no one has the right to limit me!” even if she has done something before – for example, getting supervised “outside” time with her best friend, Ella, a dog. Gunter would love to do this as often as possible and wants to do everything Ella does. But cats are not dogs (much to Gunter’s surprise and dismay), and Gunter, unsupervised is adorable but mischievous and would scamper quickly up a tree if she could. We give her 3 times for “rule violations,” and then she must come inside. She doesn't like this but does accept that it is for her own safety. And she gets over it quickly, distracting herself with something interesting, as the 7 that she is. Groups also like a sense of freedom and don’t like being highly supervised or being told what to do. It is so important to let participants talk longer than I might have planned if the topic is important to them. Similarly, participants might extend a 15-minute break to 20-minutes, but usually these informal conversations and interactions contribute to their learning. Sometimes, groups like to feel they have some degree of control over what they are doing and for how long. This is freedom. But the description above does not mean participants have unilateral freedom at all moments or that they can do whatever they want whenever they want. In fact, participants appreciate boundaries and limits set by the coach or trainer. For example, if a 9 coaching client continuously talks around his or her core issues, a coach needs to be clear that getting to the point matters for the client’s own growth. Or if a 7 client is late for coaching sessions multiple times, they do need to have this called to their attention. In a training program, if the majority or participants are head center types (5, 6 and 7) and balk at discussing feelings for very long, the trainer needs to make the case and hold firm on the importance of emotional access if participants are to increase their emotional intelligence. Think about what your animals might have taught you! Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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