Coaching

12

Mar'18

How to be a great coaching client part 3 | body center clients 8, 9 and 1

To accelerate the positive impact of your coaching success, clients of each type can use the coaching experience and their reactions to coaching itself as a guide for their development. This 3rd blog in the three-part series offers possibilities for clients in the Body Center of Intelligence, types 8, 9 and 1. Eight clients Be patient with, and learn patience from, the coaching experience. Action may not occur immediately, and if it does, it may not be the wisest course to take. Be willing to share your softer, more vulnerable side with your coach. Make a commitment to this on an ongoing basis, constantly working on your ability to be more self-disclosing. This will help you both become more comfortable doing so and recognize that real strength comes from being fully human. This includes feeling strong and also allowing yourself to feel vulnerable. Make sure you select a coach who will not feel intimidated by you, but remember that personal strength comes in many forms. Be wary of testing your coach at the earliest stages of coaching. Nine clients Select a coach who will help you stay focused on the central agenda of the coaching. If you feel angry or frustrated at any time during the coaching or if you have strongly held opinions about a topic being discussed, take the risk to discuss these thoughts and feelings with your coach. This is excellent practice for behavior that you will want to incorporate in arenas outside of coaching. Work with your coach to put clear and rigorous time frames and deliverable outputs on your coaching goals. Both you and your coach can then hold each other accountable for delivering the results you say you want. One clients If you become discouraged by some of the feedback you receive, remember that reactivity to perceived criticism is a growth area for most Ones. Be watchful when you become self-critical or engage in defensive behavior in order to keep yourself from feeling you have done something terribly wrong; allow the coach to help you with this should it occur. Keep in mind that the time spent in coaching sessions will be of great benefit, but it does take time to see longer-lasting results. You are very likely to experience positive results at various stages of coaching, but the more far-reaching impact may not occur until the end of the coaching process. Let your coach take equal responsibility for the success of the coaching, rather than your feeling you are responsible for the outcomes; when you share the responsibility, you can relax more and share control of the coaching with the coach. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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26

Feb'18

How to be a great coaching client part 2 | heart center clients 2, 3 and 4

To accelerate the positive impact of your coaching success, clients of each type can use the coaching experience and their reactions to coaching itself as a guide for their development. This 2nd blog in the three-part series offers possibilities for clients in the Heart Center of Intelligence, types 2, 3 and 4. Two clients Take the time in coaching for yourself and give yourself the gift of working on your own development, rather than focusing on how you can do more for others. This will be a huge developmental milestone for you. Allow someone else – in this case, the coach – to do something for you without your feeling that you must do something in return. When you feel you should do something to show your gratitude, express your positive feelings rather than trying to take care of the coach in some way. Know that some of the things you may discover during coaching may not match how you like to perceive yourself – in other words, your ideal self – but that recognizing the areas in which you can develop is part of the self-development process. Three clients While you may want to use coaching to increase your skills in becoming more successful, it is more likely that your real self-development will come from examining why this is so important to you. In addition, explore how you define success, working with your coach to expand your understanding of what this is. Make sure that you are open with your coach, sharing positive and negative feelings as well as successes and failures. Your tendency to not discuss your anxiety, sadness, and areas in which you do not feel confident will limit the positive results from coaching. Slow down your pace enough so that you have the time to get to know and experience your inner life more fully. Don't rely on the coaching meetings for this self-reflection; build self-refection into your daily life. Four clients When selecting a coach, you may be drawn to someone you can connect with easily. However, the best coach for helping you to grow may be someone very different from you who can likely be more objective. If you feel at times that your coach does not understand you, pause for a moment and ask yourself: Do I understand my coach and what he or she is asking or offering? This changes your focus from seeking to be understood to seeking to understand others. Remember that emotional balance is one of the most helpful areas for you to develop. As a result, it is important for you to strive for objectivity and balance as you work through various issues raised throughout the coaching. When you begin to become intensely emotional and feel that you are your emotions, ask your coach for help and guidance. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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21

Feb'18

How to be a great coaching client part 1 | head center clients 5, 6 and 7

To accelerate the positive impact of your coaching success, clients of each type can use the coaching experience and their reactions to coaching itself as a guide for their development. This 1st blog in the three-part series offers possibilities for clients in the Head Center of Intelligence, types 5, 6 and 7. Five clients Work hard to be aware of and to express your emotions during your coaching meetings. These meetings are ideal for experimenting with new behaviors. It will not feel comfortable at first, but you will get much better at it with practice. As a subtext to your coaching, consider how you may both overvalue some of your attributes and underrate the skills and talents you possess. Make this one of your coaching goals: a more realistic and objective self-image, as well as a willingness to show more of who you are to others. It may take time for you to trust your coach, but the process of building this trust can provide valuable insight into the issues you may have related to trusting others, building close relationships, and learning to need or depend on someone else. Six clients While it is important to find a coach with whom you feel comfortable discussing your worries and concerns, it is more important to find someone who is extremely practical and action oriented. This will help you to move beyond the "analysis paralysis" that can immobilize you from taking action. Try to enjoy the coaching experience; you can relax enough to do this if you set your mind to it. Tell yourself this: I can be tense later if I want. Right now, let me just experience what happens. Notice any tendencies you may have to put your fate, results, and future in the hands of the coach, and make sure you take at least 50 percent of the responsibility for the outcome. This will help you trust your own inner authority and guidance. Seven clients Keep all of your scheduled meetings; be on time or, better yet, be early. And if you are late, ask yourself what is really causing the lateness. What are you thinking, feeling or avoiding? Share this with your coach rather than offer rationales and rationalizations for why you are late. Stay with the coaching process even if you feel like ending it. Should you want to terminate the coaching relationship, discuss this with your coach before you do and be open to what you may discover. Although this may not sound pleasant, try to thoroughly discuss with the coach the experiences and situations in which you feel fearful, nervous, or sad. This line of discussion will help you to develop more strength in dealing with difficult issues and will provide a more realistic counterbalance to your usual optimism. Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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